Dear Royal Mail
I am writing this in an electronic format, because we care about the planet.
We are an advertising agency. We are aware of the power of direct mail. We have been doing it for years. We consider it as part of our arsenal.
We are aware of you. Everyone in Britain is aware of you.
We have 23 employees. You have sent us 8 pieces of direct mail. Not just an A5 leaflet, but something made to look like a book. I don’t even want to think about how many agencies and marketing departments you have sent this to throughout the country. It’s got to be thousands.
But, and here’s the clever bit, when you open it all the pages have the middle cut out and there’s a little message saying “We’ve cut all the hard work out for you.”.
Laugh? We nearly cried.
We can just imagine the scarf wearing junior exec in a London agency selling the idea to you. And oh how they must have giggled as they stiffed a struggling company for a load of money.
I have attached a photo montage below that tells the story of what we did with your piece of marketing.
“Oh look, we’ve got a load of parcels, they look like they’ve come from Amazon. There’s even one for somebody who left a year ago.”
“Oh, it’s a book about Direct Mail. This isn’t one of those stupid Royal Mail things is it, like the chocolate letter they sent us or the aprons?”
“Oh ferchrissakes it is.”
You may not care about the planet. But we do and we’re supposed to be your customers. We don’t need 8 copies of anything. One will suffice. In fact, why don’t you email us. Or send us a link to a cool website you’ve made with the same information on it.
I hope to God that in the current financial climate you haven’t been using public money to create this tosh.
Bombarding us with expensive rubbish is not more likely to make us use you, it’s less likely.
Get a grip. It’s 2010.
Yours faithfully
Jamie Mollart
Account Director, Rock Kitchen Harris.
and the words Up,Head,His and A*se could be used in any order.......colony..WTF 
...and rather ironically including the crap he received. 
