Royal Mail A Parody.

[darth]

duetche poste and royal mail decided to have a canoe race on the river thames . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day the germans won by a mile.

Afterwards, the royal mail team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The royal mail management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up of senior management, was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the germans had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whilst royal mail had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. So royal mail management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.

To prevent losing to the germans again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower: "We must give the rower empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

The next year the germans won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, royal mail management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave a High Performance Award to the steering managers and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

sad but true. :cfo :lfo :mfo :mfo

[DGP1]

[Stormproof]

[smokerjim]

Digging a grave for the Public Service

[Thorby Bislam]

duetche poste and royal mail decided to have a canoe race on the river thames . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day the germans won by a mile.

Afterwards, the royal mail team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The royal mail management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Measurement Team," made up of senior management, was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the germans had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whilst royal mail had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. So royal mail management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing.

To prevent losing to the germans again next year, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower: "We must give the rower empowerment and enrichments through this quality program."

The next year the germans won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, royal mail management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave a High Performance Award to the steering managers and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

Consider that nicked.