Dating a colleague

Noddy123 · Post by **Noddy123** » 03 Jan 2018, 18:47

I've worked for Royal Mail as a postie for 16 months, and since the beginning of December I've been romantically involved with a fellow postie. We've kept it quiet around the office this far although I'm not sure how much longer it will stay that way as it's getting rather serious now.

My question is do you think that the DOM has a right to know? Neither of us are in a position of authority over the other, we don't directly work together - nor are we likely to, we don't conduct any physical side of the relationship at work, nor do we plan to, and touch wood we won't fall out but if we do, I would say we're both mature enough to not bring disagreements into the office.

When it becomes common knowledge that we're together, I do expect a day or two of ribbing from certain staff members but that hopefully it'll soon die down and become yesterday's news then we'll be able to continue with the relationship minus any comments.

I think my fella expects that once the gossip starts, the DOM will call us into her office for a chat - so maybe we should fess up before then?

Your advice would be appreciated!

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 03 Jan 2018, 18:53

It's nobody's business but yours.
Should I buy a hat?

number one · Post by **number one** » 03 Jan 2018, 19:20

Once people find out there may well be a bit of light banter but they will get bored.
It’s nobody else’s business. The manager has no say. I know many couples including Husband and wife who work in the same delivery office and also work together. Even some managers date staff. It really is no issue. Stop worrying as you have nothing to worry about. The one thing I will say and I hope it doesn’t come to this is if things don’t work out then you have to both be mature about it and carry on as normal. Some people can’t deal with seeing their ex everyday and it can cause problems.

Postie45 · Post by **Postie45** » 03 Jan 2018, 19:23

hang and flog the both of you i say :Very Happy

Post by **TrueBlueTerrier** » 03 Jan 2018, 19:34

number one wrote:Once people find out there may well be a bit of light banter but they will get bored.
It’s nobody else’s business. The manager has no say. I know many couples including Husband and wife who work in the same delivery office and also work together. Even some managers date staff. It really is no issue. Stop worrying as you have nothing to worry about. The one thing I will say and I hope it doesn’t come to this is if things don’t work out then you have to both be mature about it and carry on as normal. Some people can’t deal with seeing their ex everyday and it can cause problems.

Spot on Number one - except for the "Even some managers date staff. It really is no issue." According to the Code of Business Conduct, Managers aren't allowed to have relationships with anyone under their control.

But as you say 2 posties, even if they were in the same pairing on a CDV it is of no concern of the business or anyone else as long as they behave in an appropriate manner at all times whilst on duty.

phillpk1 · Post by **phillpk1** » 03 Jan 2018, 20:10

i dated and married my Manager when we worked together

The only time manager (DOM) needs to know IS IF THEY ARE YOUR IMMEDIATE LINE MANAGER other wise they have no need to know.All i can say is when/if you tell them just make sure its solid cos there will be a lot of banter( and 11 years on i still get it )

NWpostie · Post by **NWpostie** » 03 Jan 2018, 20:26

It's not the Army, you don't have to report your relationship to the manager as it's your business and you're not in a senior position over the other, bugger what anyone else says.

world class male · Post by **world class male** » 03 Jan 2018, 20:26

don't think it really matters, couples fall out just like work colleagues do, though it may be awkward if they actually deliver together.
i've seen line managers go out with posties and get married, and seen splits, some still got on, some didn't,
reckon there's at least 3 "couples" as now in our d/o

centenaryman · Post by **centenaryman** » 03 Jan 2018, 20:30

lad at our place dated a postwoman also at our place,,,,they now live together and have a child....no probs what so ever and so there shouldn't be...
except they find it hard to get hols at the same time LOL

there was banter for a while...but its just that.

Post by **woody38** » 03 Jan 2018, 22:34

Great you’ve found somebody to love u, but don’t become like the coupes at our place, they do e erything togetherr includiqng the walk, gang up against u so u keep away from them.

Mobey · Post by **Mobey** » 03 Jan 2018, 23:20

I've never mixed a relationship with my employment. I don't think I will honestly do it.

Each to their own and hope you two will be happy together.

frankieboy · Post by **frankieboy** » 04 Jan 2018, 15:47

Maya's been screwing me for the last 10 years and we're both very happy.

Post by **Lincox** » 04 Jan 2018, 16:00

frankieboy wrote:Maya's been screwing me for the last 10 years and we're both very happy.

Great bit of covering your backside Frankie. I always get my a mixed up with my o.
How much of that huge pay packet are you charging her.

Post by **Lounge Lizard** » 04 Jan 2018, 17:34

Have you asked to share the same van yet ?

Oh, no, that would probably be the end of the relationship.

Post by **eastie** » 04 Jan 2018, 19:37

I hope you give her an extended delivery in the back of the van