help needed :-(

helpneeded · Post by **helpneeded** » 08 Jul 2012, 10:49

Hello, I work in a delivery office in northern England, and I have been very silly and have got 3 different payday loans out and cannot pay them back because I have been addicted to gambling and now I'm going to lose my family as a couple of years it happened and got told by them if I did it again my wife would kick me out. :-( I don't know what to do. If I could pay off the loans I would b ok :-(

Post by **flaminmoses** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:04

I would of said go to gamble aware but im not sure what they actually do

No point finding an easy fix for the loan problem if you dont try and FIX the cause of the problem.

I was lucky.....i learnt young when i had 10 quid to last 2 weeks many years ago.

fng · Post by **fng** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:11

helpneeded wrote:Hello, I work in a delivery office in northern England, and I have been very silly and have got 3 different payday loans out and cannot pay them back because I have been addicted to gambling and now I'm going to lose my family as a couple of years it happened and got told by them if I did it again my wife would kick me out. :-( I don't know what to do. If I could pay off the loans I would b ok :-(

I know I will regret this but. . . . what help are you after?

Call 118118 and get the number of a debt counseller
Call 118118 and get the number of gamblers annon - if you want to stop that is.

But seriously, If you are SERIOUS about WANTING help, you are not going to get it off this or any blog are you ?...... seek PROPER help.

If all else fails in RM, i might become a counsellor, I think I might be good at it

northantsmic · Post by **northantsmic** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:26

Good advice from above, I understand why u don't want to tell your family. How much is it u owe?

Post by **Lounge Lizard** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:29

There's also http://www.rowlandhillfund.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; but that could only be part of the solution.

helpneeded · Post by **helpneeded** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:30

Thanks guys. It's about 4000 I owe but need 1000 now but don't know what to do. I can't tell the wife.

noggin1969 · Post by **noggin1969** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:32

Payday loans have massive amounts of intrest on them , consolidate them into a bank loan or transfer them onto 0% credit card deal or ask the union if they can help you out of the hardship fund. Same as any other addiction you have to admit to yourself you have a problem and seek help only YOU can stop it

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:38

helpneeded wrote: I can't tell the wife.

You can't not tell the wife.
Do you think she would rather know now while the debt is relatively manageable or when you've run up enough debt to lose everything she owns?
You need to talk to your wife,seek both help for your addiction and debt management advice and if your wife sticks by you you've been extremely lucky but she deserves the right to make that choice,not live a lie.

helpneeded · Post by **helpneeded** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:42

I cant tell her. I was lucky last time not to lose her

noggin1969 · Post by **noggin1969** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:48

You'll lose her alot faster if she finds out that you've not told her

fishtank · Post by **fishtank** » 08 Jul 2012, 11:56

helpneeded wrote:I cant tell her. I was lucky last time not to lose her

I don't want to get into some kind of argument,i know what kind of damage addiction can do but you can't hide this from your wife.
You will only get more and more desperate and dig a deeper hole for both of you.
You need help but so does your wife,she's living with an addict and completely unaware of the danger you are putting her in.
That isn't fair on her....it's not just about what you might lose.

Post by **stokes11eg** » 08 Jul 2012, 14:12

fishtank wrote:
helpneeded wrote:I cant tell her. I was lucky last time not to lose her
I don't want to get into some kind of argument,i know what kind of damage addiction can do but you can't hide this from your wife.
You will only get more and more desperate and dig a deeper hole for both of you.
You need help but so does your wife,she's living with an addict and completely unaware of the danger you are putting her in.
That isn't fair on her....it's not just about what you might lose.

This is so very true.

not me · Post by **not me** » 08 Jul 2012, 15:02

get every bit of OT going
ask about work at other DOs if it comes to it

ebbzie · Post by **ebbzie** » 08 Jul 2012, 16:46

Is the add at the bottom of the page taking the P**s

justdeno · Post by **justdeno** » 08 Jul 2012, 17:13

ebbzie wrote:Is the add at the bottom of the page taking the P**s

Yeah, noticed that,go away Quick Quid and all the other vultures. Please try gamblers anomimous, and do tell your wife, it may cause problems, but she may understand and help you.Do not bury your head in the sand anymore, face the problem head on, good luck

ROYALMAILCHAT

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