The Flyer's Rights Charter

[Straight4ward]

Great news as the CWU and Royal Mail reach agreement to enshrine the inalienable right of flyers to be home in time for Channel 5’s morning program, ‘Trisha Goddard’.

Dave Ward said “this deal delivers on the major issues which flyers have fought (and trampled over their colleagues) for”.

Royal Mail welcomes the agreement which paves the way for a strong and successful future for flyers.
Adam Crozier said “our customers want to see our postmen red-faced, short of breath and hurtling about like demented lunatics. This is good news for businesses and will bring about the much needed transformation of the Company for those that can keep up.”

The agreement between both parties allows for flyers to conduct their normal activities without let or hindrance and should be seen as an enabler.

1) Wilful delay of a flyer is classed as gross misconduct, which if proven could result in dismissal.

2) All Delivery Offices are to be open at least 2 hours before the official start time to allow flyers to get an early start.

3) Parking spaces are to be made available adjacent to loading bays exclusively for the use of flyers’ private cars.

4) Any bag drops required by a flyer must be completed first by the van driver before delivering any other drop-bags.

5) Flyers are allowed to leave the office before the miss-sort run.

6) Flyers must be given first refusal on any available overtime.

7) Flyers are excused IPS if covering 2 duties that day.

8) Flyers are excused from killing off dead letters.

9) Flyers are excused from the requirement to wear RM footwear. Running shoes with spikes are to be actively encouraged.

10) Any Special Delivery items whereby the addressee might be out can be left in the office and a completed P739 card taken out instead and delivered.

11) Recorded items may be delivered without the need to obtain a signature.

12) All packets must be door-stepped. Under no circumstances should time be wasted waiting for a doorbell to be answered while on delivery.

13) There is no need for mail to be pushed fully through letterboxes. Providing it is left within the vicinity of the front door this will suffice.

14) Gates need not be closed, walls should be hurdled, lawns crossed and flowerbeds trampled. The emphasis must be on saving as much time as possible.

15) Time should not be wasted on picking up dropped rubber bands. The rest day cover can collect these, or, at least, take the blame for dropping them in the first place.

16) Flyers have the right to sneer, jeer and generally make fun of those that do the job at a slower pace.

[mojothefishmo]

As much as the whole piece is a funny piss take and i like it ,its quite sad how much of it is completely true
Flyers are immune from any form of management bullying and harrassment
They can simply do what they want when they want ,lie on signing out sheets
Fabricate the time they finish
Dont go on IPS
Throw there own walks off and there overtime
Clain more overtime than there actually doing
ANd wo betide anyone who grasses them up

BECAUSE F@@K ALL WILL GET DONE ABOUT IT,BECAUSE THERE UNTOUCHABLE

[BELIAL]

very true

[opgpat]

And flyers must be paid 3hrs OT to do 1hrs worth of delivery on a regular basis to prevent managers from having to get off ther arses and do it themselves.

[lekker]

Never a truer word - or several

[MinisterofCucumber]

Everyone must perform to the rate of the top 10 per cent.

Now you know why flyers have been encouraged.

[Bendy72]

One of if not the best post Ive seen on here....So So true .
Thanks to these selfish barstewards we are all going to be fooked .

[coxie]

lol great post, although i dont consider myself a flyer i admit to doing half of that lol

[k979aaa]

Ssh we may give the managers ideas but they cannot see flyer's due to their blinked approach!.

[Just_My_Opinion]

Are you referring to performers in the top 10% by any chance?

[Straight4ward]

Whilst charging around as though your arse was on fire would, no doubt, fit in well with the timing requirements of The Winged Horse software, other aspects of a flyer’s behaviour would surely preclude them from the top 10%, assuming quality of performance is the measure here.

But hey what would I know? I am the tortoise to their hare and in the real world, outside of Aesop’s fables, the hare always wins.

BTW, thank you Bendy72. Thank you very much indeed.