COURIER--APRIL/2009--a light hearted review.

[vigilante]

aHH!! Is it that time already?
The monthly review is due

Front Page. Brydon." Everyone owes Allan their gratitude"------What the hell for? Oh yes trying to change the name of the company to the rediculous-'Consignia' which costed millions and found that nobody liked it so had to revert back to RM.
Or for making the service worse all round by cuts and making more staff part time to fuel capatolistic greed?
Seriously for a minute---well done Neil Chesebrough for his part at Boscastle.
Page 2. Postman calls off the bullies--------What happened to the term postperson then------PC brigade might be watching Royal Mail set up this line---well they are experts in this field.
Page 3.
page 4.pledge to keep you informed----pledge to give us our full pension we have paid into for years never mind the rubbish.
page 5.mark of our quality---pass the sick bag.
page 6.-----yawn
page 7------Double yawn
page 8------Wake me
page 9------kent talks up performance---performance up!! I'm sure you will be well rewarded with a massive bonus------
page 10----no comment
page 11-----It's Ecoman!! saviour of the planet
page 12-----harvey collects winnings----Is that Arthur lowe in Dads Army???
Page 13----Us Mail hits a crisis---------have you had our management over there?
Page 14/15-----How we go the final mile----too angry to comment.
page 16---Summer jobs in Antartica------ooohh yes please where are the forms of application!!??
Page 17----Well done winners.
Page 18/19----Well done fund raisers.
Page20/21-------Postbag----in europe many households get 10-15 households a week-----good luck to them-----If we had that many we wouldn't get any more for delivering them-----knowing RM!!----Other usual crap letters.
Page22----Win a family day out-------I don't want to seem ungrateful--------but.
Page 23-----The job keeps Jon fighting fit (Don't try and bully him at work) But it's the stress that shags him!!
page 24----No comment
page 25-----Ha---Thats two words that won't go together again!! POST/EARLY ----is that alf Garnett???---(Target audience)
page 26/27/28-----Reminds me too much of D2D

[vigilante]

Many thanks for that i dont get the SCOURIER any more and its good to see i have missed nothing.

No probs mate
You can rely on my reviews to keep you up to date

[vigilante]

It would be handy if you had a copy of The courier to hand people

[Lounge Lizard]

Page 4, Pledge to keep you informed, - have I missed the article on this years pay deal then ?

[Puppetmaster]

Mail volumes down on 1 page and further in substantial inrease in DSA and preddicted high increas in DSA for years to come?
so what is it all mail volumes including DSA DOWN ?
or overall increase with DSA ?
CONFLICTING INFORMATION IN RM mouth peice?

[andy2007]

Front page: Well, there's one thing that we can all be grateful to Alan for, Brydon: He's finally gone!

[General Mannerheim]

pg4.. Ruthless Robber Posed as Postman...RM`s head of security Derek Pratt says it`s important to dispose of old uniforms properly and we have to wear our photo ID at all TIMES...obviously he`s never been on ebay or the internet then and I`m sorry but if he thinks I`m wearing my ID when me and Mrs Mannerheim are on the job he`s nuts.
Pg5.. Glen tells people he is proud he works for Royal Mail,I bet he`s a smoothy on the dance floor. meanwhile Ganesh says that a lady stopped him and said you provide a very good service.....and what time again did you say my car would be ready for?
Also search is on for mechanics...judging by the state of the vans why am I not surprised!
Pg6....Design a Poster to fight the bullies...Simply line up the Dom and Lino`s and take a photo..sheessh how obvious!
Pg7...Massive Move...So thats why RM are shutting all our mail centres up here in the north,so we can all go shopping how thoughtful!
Pg8 ..Local lingo...PLONKER...nuff said.
Pg 9...More talk of daily `huddles`..it helps everybody to know how the `team` is doing..classic RM spin.
Pg11...Our Vehicle damage bill hits £35M ..the picture of litter in the vans...I thought that came as standard instead of fog lamps.
Pg12...Secret Admirer...Caroline got some carnations off a sweet old chap(code for dirty old man)and then when she got in her husband had bought her some flowers as well....Yeah I love it when Mrs Mannerheim comes home with flowers bought off another man.
Pg 14...the usual Posties turn in for work through the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse story.Next months is how an office coped after a swarm of killer bees got loose from a jar shaped parcel marked FRAGILE.
Pg 16...Jobs in Antarctica....` We had no running water and just a generator` yeah it`s called office savings get with the programme,just because your thousands of miles away sheesh

[k979aaa]

Page 16 "Search for new CEO" :cfo IS THIS THE APRIL FOOL OR DO WE HAVE HIM ALL YEAR :cfo

[savo]

but on the bright side, i only need one word to complete the crossword ( 4 down )

[TrueBlueTerrier]

but on the bright side, i only need one word to complete the crossword ( 4 down )

Constant

[axeman]

And who's going to be the first to disclose how much fat big al of pink shirt fame is reciving as a handshake from mandy and co ?

[savo]

but on the bright side, i only need one word to complete the crossword ( 4 down )

Constant

Cheers but cant be "constant" unless my other answers are wrong......

_E_S_D_S what i got so far

[baldrick]

but on the bright side, i only need one word to complete the crossword ( 4 down )

Constant

Cheers but cant be "constant" unless my other answers are wrong......

_E_S_D_S what i got so far

I think it's PERSISTS.
12 across is releases not released.

[stevenshm]

I must admit i really did laugh about the response to the letter about door to doors!
"in europe they get 15 sets and the consumers love it!!!"

[BELIAL]

Coconut macaroons will solve all our problems, going forward ,in a statistically probable RM world