BELIAL wrote:There is no excuse. We've all got personal circumstances. You like the rest of us were faced with a difficult decision, you were found wanting .Stop bleating and learn to live with it,you've got a lifetime.
There is no excuse, we've all got personal cicumstances.
No one has asked for the circumstances that shaped my decision, but I think they are germane.
Background information - feel free to ignore this, my wife suffers from bad asthma ( controlled by three inhalers ), hayfever all year round and excema. She has also had seven para-umbillical hernia repairs and been the victim of a serious crime, for which she recieved a lot of counselling before I met her and just before we married she suffered a miscarriage for an unexpected pregnancy, and at the time she had moved down to Kent already, but I was still staying up in London working through the last few months of a job.
My wife had a sterilisation in March 2003, which had complications that led to her having greatly restricted mobility. The efforts of the Medway Maritime to diagnose the cause, and find a solution were long, drawn out and generally half arsed ( on her first stay, after 4 days, she was moved into the maternity ward - 2 weeks after a sterilisation! ). It was resolved to a degree 15 months later, when she had a full hysterectomy. This led to an improvement in her mobility, but it was still nowhere near what she was used to.
Having had a full hysterectomy meant she would now be on HRT ( from age 33 ), and for the first 5 months that wasn't a problem as she had been fitted with a HRT implant during the op, but once it started to wear off, we had to go to the GP, and he prescribed HRT patches ( same as nicotine patches, but you keep them on for a week ), he also advised it might take about 6 - 8 weeks for the body to adjust....well it didn't adjust, and four months later, after going in every few weeks to moan about it he finally agreed to change it to pills which worked like a charm, and for a few months things were starting to look fairly stable, and I thought if my wife's depression could be treated, then maybe at some point in a year or two maybe she could go back to work, but in August the following year ( 2006 ) my wife started having trouble with her knee and hip ( she would try to walk, but as she put any pressure on her knee it would "unlock" which meant her leg would fold at the knee ), despite multiple MRIs, X-Rays, blood tests, etc nothing conclusive was found and despite no doctor actually saying "I think it is probably nerve dermage from your multiple abdominal surgeries" that was what we've been guessing ( although it took about a year for us to realise there wasn't going to be a "eureka" moment or a definate diagnosis ).
Since then my wife and I have moved and are no longer under the "care" of the Medway, but in the area of Darent Valley, and when my wife went to our new GP for a repeat prescription for pain relief, and anti depressants he asked to see all her medications, and told her that she shouldn't be taking some of the combinations due to side effects and contra-indications ( another bang-up job by the Medway & Dr Bored - not his real name, more like his attitude). She has also recently suffered from shingles and even now still has a lot of trouble with mis-firing nerve endings.
All this time I have tried to provide for us and this year especially I am failing badly - not least because eveything is starting to get to me. In addition to coping with the above ( and more such as 5 months on the dole with no money due to a previous employer messing up my contributions just before I joined RM ), I have no social life except what I have online, this summer I was put on a duty where I could earn no overtime ( last summer I estimate I earned an extra £2k+ just from covering SAs )I have a car I've had to wait 3 weeks to get the money for a used fuel pump ( £30 ), my bike ( which I bought for cheaper commuting ) has no tax, no MOT and a bald rear tyre, and back in June I spent 3 hrs on delivery thinking about suicide ( but at least my current GP didn't waste time referring me to the local mental health, and I should be having my assessment for therapy next month ), but until then missing a bill or having my wife pay for something I promised to provide her will still be something I take personally - I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it.
Now maybe if you've read this far, some of you may scoff or insist that there is still no excuse for scabbing - fine that is your opinion and you are entitled to it, however, I hope you'd at least give me respect for being honest enough to tell you I crossed the line, rather than say nothing or worse still lie and say I was on the picket / stayed at home. To me honesty isn't the best policy, it's the only policy ( I've lost at least one job because I told the truth when I would still be there if I lied ), and while I've sometimes had to make uncomfortable choices before, but I'm satisfied that I've made the right choices for me and my wife first, then me and my colleagues second. Finally, may you and your families have a normal, happy & healthy life - I wouldn't wish any of this crap on anyone - and in the words of Dave Allen, "May your God go with you."
im not saying where its at.....its not a do.