AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS______

Post by **POSTMAN** » 22 May 2007, 22:39

Way ahead of ha mate,but that is quality,post it in here AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS...

Welcome btw

Actually i've moved it in there,or rather here,have a read

Pat20 · Post by **Pat20** » 23 May 2007, 21:14

Years ago trying to squeeze a jiffy bag through the letterbox and after many attempts it came undone and a b****y great dildo fell on the step just as the lady of the house came and answered in her nightdress....dunno who went redder !!!!!

Post by **POSTMAN** » 23 May 2007, 21:38

Pat20 wrote: Years ago trying to squeeze a jiffy bag through the letterbox and after many attempts it came undone and a b****y great dildo fell on the step just as the lady of the house came and answered in her nightdress....dunno who went redder !!!!!

pjthebear · Post by **pjthebear** » 23 May 2007, 22:10

On a Saturday morning, about 6.40 am, I had a parcel. So I knocked on the door then, to my horror, I realised it was the wrong number. A light went on so, being a man about it, I hid behind a hedge two or three houses up the road. I waited a while and carried on with my delivery. I walked past the house that I had knocked on and saw a lady in the garden wearing a dressing gown, locked out and looking very distressed. I asked her what had happened and she explained that she had heard someone knocking, opened the door, looked outside and the door had closed behing her. Feeling very guilty, I offered my assistance and she used my phone to phone her daughter who lived round the corner and had a spare key. I ended up going and getting the key for the lady and making good my guilt. The following week, my line manager approached me and praised me for my good deed as the lady locked out had phoned up and commended me. I took the praise and said nothing.

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 23 May 2007, 22:13

Just as you should do fella!!

OUT

DONT PLAY KNOCK DOWN GINGER UNLESS YOU HAVE A POSTBAG!!!

L Tommo · Post by **L Tommo** » 23 May 2007, 22:14

OUT

STICK A DEAD STICKER ON IT AND TELL EM IT HAS AS MUCH LIFE AS YOUR HUBBIE LOVE!!!

Post by **POSTMAN** » 23 May 2007, 22:17

pjthebear the wimp wrote:so, being a man about it, I hid behind a hedge

pjthebear · Post by **pjthebear** » 23 May 2007, 23:36

the boy made good in the end

iow1 · Post by **iow1** » 24 May 2007, 15:27

omg i could write a book.
rural posties customer was moving." look after the place keep your eye on it till the new people move in. " famous last words. he had always admired the bird bath. halfway through loading it on to his van, bird bath was very heavy his back gives out. he had to telephone dom to send out the others to drive his van back. put the bird bath back where it came from. new customers never knew a thing.
same postie saw a rocking chair in the front garden one morning. bin men were due he did a spot of recycling. when he got back to the office dom was in a rage. could he please take the chair back. the delivery bloke had just dropped it there and householder was putting his shoes on when he saw postie recycling it!!!
when line manager was a postie he took a female postie that he was seeing out on a collection. they stopped in a layby. the little sausage made its appearance and she dutifully gave it a prolonged kiss!!! any way postie could hear a tractor. he looked in wing mirror couldn't see it. thats cos it was the other side of the hedge with an elevated show!!
this list is endless.
although i only still laugh at the hitler of a line manager who recently fell over delivering a cut off and broke his foot. he had to drive 6 miles back to the office as there was no phone signal. He now has to wear a metal thing on the bottom of his shoe. clack clack you can now here him coming. fantastic early warning system for us.

manwithnovan · Post by **manwithnovan** » 22 Jun 2007, 17:08

Whilst covering a postie on leave a chap came out and said give the mail to the dog & he will bring it in for me.
Great i thought saves me a walk up their long drive, this went on for a couple more weeks
About six months later i was put on this round again & sure enough the dog came up to the gate and took the mail, after about 4 days the owner was stood at the gate looking pissed off
Have you been giving the dog my mail, yes i said you told me to
That was my last dog this one has been burying it in the garden

shelanda · Post by **shelanda** » 22 Jun 2007, 17:15

manwithnovan wrote:Whilst covering a postie on leave a chap came out and said give the mail to the dog & he will bring it in for me.
Great i thought saves me a walk up their long drive, this went on for a couple more weeks
About six months later i was put on this round again & sure enough the dog came up to the gate and took the mail, after about 4 days the owner was stood at the gate looking pissed off
Have you been giving the dog my mail, yes i said you told me to
That was my last dog this one has been burying it in the garden

Had a dog like that on 1 of our rurals, the owner said he's just eaten the postcard quick as yer like the postie said "shall I tell you what it said"

manwithnovan · Post by **manwithnovan** » 22 Jun 2007, 17:17

shelanda wrote:
manwithnovan wrote:Whilst covering a postie on leave a chap came out and said give the mail to the dog & he will bring it in for me.
Great i thought saves me a walk up their long drive, this went on for a couple more weeks
About six months later i was put on this round again & sure enough the dog came up to the gate and took the mail, after about 4 days the owner was stood at the gate looking pissed off
Have you been giving the dog my mail, yes i said you told me to
That was my last dog this one has been burying it in the garden
Had a dog like that on 1 of our rurals, the owner said he's just eaten the postcard quick as yer like the postie said "shall I tell you what it said"

Good Answer

shelanda · Post by **shelanda** » 22 Jun 2007, 17:28

Had another postie who wanted a signature when we had the old recorded books, he knocked, no reply. The door was ajar so he pushed it open and walked in, couldn't see anyone but he thought that he heard a noise, so he found some stairs and climbed them. He came to a door, again ajar so he pushed it to find an old lady in bed

so he approached the bed and said can you sign here please....very politly! The daughter of the old lady was very annoyed when she rang and complained

IWW Fellow Worker · Post by **IWW Fellow Worker** » 22 Jun 2007, 17:30

In the dim and distant past I used to be in the T.A. I was a medic and had to go to the Duchess of Kent Military Hospital in Catterick for two weeks ward training. One day, a doctor asked me to give a lad from the cavalry two suppositories. So, I drew the curtains around, stuck the KY on the suppositories and in they went. After lunch, the lad still hadn't emtied his bowels, so the doctor asked me to repeat the proceedure. Same thing and in they went. This time it worked which was a big relief to the trooper. A bit later I was walking through the ward when the lad said "Thanks for them suppositories mate! I feel much better now. How long have you been in the army?"
"I'm a postman mate. I'm only here for my 15 days T.A." I said.
"Bloody hell! A postman! How do you find working in the hospital?"
I replied, "It would be a lot easier if your arse had a brass flap and a number!"

Post by **POSTMAN** » 22 Jun 2007, 18:11

"It would be a lot easier if your arse had a brass flap and a number!"

That made me laugh out loud

ROYALMAILCHAT

AND A FUNNY THING HAPPEND TO ME WAS______

HAHAHAHAHA BEAR!!

PAT.. WOTS A DILDO???