Harrased over my sexuality

[kwikpost]

Thanx everybody for allyour responses,I will be acting on the advice I have received & I will see what happens.
Special thnx go out to Postman,Ghostgirl & linkinpark for thier good, sound advice & understanding of my situation.
Thnx again for giving me some hope

something very similar happened in my office a few years back now. for the person concerned it turn a bad situation even worse. what to us was "banter" they claimed was bullying. the person concerned was moved to another office but the problem went with them. word soon got around as to why they had been moved. all in all they would of been better off if they had joined in the banter instead off taking it all to heart. even now every morning it's open season on everyone and everything in our office.

[andy2007]

Thanx everybody for allyour responses,I will be acting on the advice I have received & I will see what happens.
Special thnx go out to Postman,Ghostgirl & linkinpark for thier good, sound advice & understanding of my situation.
Thnx again for giving me some hope

something very similar happened in my office a few years back now. for the person concerned it turn a bad situation even worse. what to us was "banter" they claimed was bullying. the person concerned was moved to another office but the problem went with them. word soon got around as to why they had been moved. all in all they would of been better off if they had joined in the banter instead off taking it all to heart. even now every morning it's open season on everyone and everything in our office.

Why do you believe that the victim should have just joined in?
Surely someone must have noticed how upset he/she was getting. Banter is a great way of letting of steam, and generally having a laugh. But once it crosses the line, and starts to upset someone, IT SHOULD STOP!

Banter, is only harmless fun. If the person on the recieving end, accepts it as such. And doesn't take offence. Otherwise, it becomes Bullying. The victims of Bullying, need understanding and support. Not to be treated even worse later, for coming forward.

That's why the B&H procedures, start off with a requirement to ask you to stop, before taking the matter further. We all make mistakes, and sometimes Banter can go too far, without any malice behind it. But if it continues, after you know that it's upsetting someone. Then it's no-longer Banter. IT'S BULLYING, AND MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY!

[kwikpost]

Thanx everybody for allyour responses,I will be acting on the advice I have received & I will see what happens.
Special thnx go out to Postman,Ghostgirl & linkinpark for thier good, sound advice & understanding of my situation.
Thnx again for giving me some hope

something very similar happened in my office a few years back now. for the person concerned it turn a bad situation even worse. what to us was "banter" they claimed was bullying. the person concerned was moved to another office but the problem went with them. word soon got around as to why they had been moved. all in all they would of been better off if they had joined in the banter instead off taking it all to heart. even now every morning it's open season on everyone and everything in our office.

Why do you believe that the victim should have just joined in?
Surely someone must have noticed how upset he/she was getting. Banter is a great way of letting of steam, and generally having a laugh. But once it crosses the line, and starts to upset someone, IT SHOULD STOP!

Banter, is only harmless fun. If the person on the recieving end, accepts it as such. And doesn't take offence. Otherwise, it becomes Bullying. The victims of Bullying, need understanding and support. Not to be treated even worse later, for coming forward.

That's why the B&H procedures, start off with a requirement to ask you to stop, before taking the matter further. We all make mistakes, and sometimes Banter can go too far, without any malice behind it. But if it continues, after you know that it's upsetting someone. Then it's no-longer Banter. IT'S BULLYING, AND MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY!

oh dear. and welcome to the real world.

[andy2007]

Sorry for being so harsh. But I've seen the damage that can be done by Bullying. And for someone to be moved to another Office, only for word to get 'round as to why, causing even worse problems. Well, it's not a pleasant thought.

I've no problem with Banter. There's plenty of it goes on where I am too. Although we need to be careful about who overhears, as there are a couple of overzealous Managers. But if it starts to bother someone, it has to stop. I'm on the recieving end of a lot of harmles Banter, and I give as good as I get (at least I like to think I do ). But there have been occasions when I've gone too far, just as I'm sure everyone has. But I stop, if I cause offence.

We've had a lot of problems with Bullying in the past. Particularly in the Segs (I work indoors), back when we could go Home, when we hit our Target. Because some people, simply weren't capable of working as fast as others. It got really out of hand. Which is why we had a major crackdown on B&H.

It's annoying when there's a false alarm, because of something that was overheard. But I'd rather have that, than the situation we used to have. Some people are very insecure, for whatever reason. So what's harmless Banter to you and me. Can be very distressing, even if you didn't intend it to be.

It's VITAL, that anyone in that situation. Can get the help and support they need, without having to fear reprisals. Either at their current Office, or another one.

In case you're wondering: When I was at School, I was Bullied. Which is another reason, that I have such strong oppinions about it.

[kwikpost]

Sorry for being so harsh. But I've seen the damage that can be done by Bullying. And for someone to be moved to another Office, only for word to get 'round as to why, causing even worse problems. Well, it's not a pleasant thought.

I've no problem with Banter. There's plenty of it goes on where I am too. Although we need to be careful about who overhears, as there are a couple of overzealous Managers. But if it starts to bother someone, it has to stop. I'm on the recieving end of a lot of harmles Banter, and I give as good as I get (at least I like to think I do ). But there have been occasions when I've gone too far, just as I'm sure everyone has. But I stop, if I cause offence.

We've had a lot of problems with Bullying in the past. Particularly in the Segs (I work indoors), back when we could go Home, when we hit our Target. Because some people, simply weren't capable of working as fast as others. It got really out of hand. Which is why we had a major crackdown on B&H.

It's annoying when there's a false alarm, because of something that was overheard. But I'd rather have that, than the situation we used to have. Some people are very insecure, for whatever reason. So what's harmless Banter to you and me. Can be very distressing, even if you didn't intend it to be.

It's VITAL, that anyone in that situation. Can get the help and support they need, without having to fear reprisals. Either at their current Office, or another one.

In case you're wondering: When I was at School, I was Bullied. Which is another reason, that I have such strong oppinions about it.

have a bash at this http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;. i did it and it said this about me.

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

[andy2007]

This is what I got:

How Evil am I.jpg

I hope it's wrong about me making people squirm!

[kwikpost]

This is what I got:

How Evil am I.jpg

I hope it's wrong about me making people squirm!

i think you'd be far to nice to last in our office.

[rhino49]

[quote=" . I suppose it's a very fine line between banter and bullying. but in our office as I say it's all taken as a joke.[/quote]

Bullying is banter that offends someone - there is no fine line or crossover point for the offended - just ever deeper levels of anguish and discomfort at the comments of the buffoons around them.

[upmyroad]

[quote=" . I suppose it's a very fine line between banter and bullying. but in our office as I say it's all taken as a joke.

Bullying is banter that offends someone - there is no fine line or crossover point for the offended - just ever deeper levels of anguish and discomfort at the comments of the buffoons around them.[/quote]

so in your office there is NO banter then. ??

[brothermagrew]

No-one wants to create a sterile working environment where light-hearted banter is strictly ruled out. Having a 'laugh' with colleagues is, after all, what gets many of us through the working day. But legally - and for the protection of employees - a line has to be drawn before innocent comment becomes full-blown harassment.

"The difficulty is that a comment that one person may laugh off could cause distress for someone else. If remarks are made persistently, this may also cross the line and make someone feel like they are being targeted. It can be hard for the person making the remark to understand the effect that their comment makes, when they see it as good-natured teasing."

Although there is no direct legislation relating to 'lookism', teasing staff about their appearance may fall under current discrimination laws. For example, calling someone a 'bald coot' could be seen as age harassment under the new age discrimination rules. "Teasing someone for being short-sighted or for having a speech impediment could be seen as disability discrimination, as could remarks made about someone who is underweight and who may have anorexia."
Other "harmless" teasing could also lead to discrimination claims. Remarks about large or small breasts could be seen as sexual harassment, while being teased about being overweight or underweight could be seen as disability discrimination if there is an underlying medical problem. "Scars, birthmarks, acne or other skin complaints may also be viewed as a disfigurement and so would fall under disability discrimination rules."

There is no direct legislation about discriminating against a regional accent, but employees being teased about an Irish, Scottish or Welsh accent could be protected under the Race Relations Act. However, the absence of direct legislation protecting other target areas, such as having a regional accent or ginger hair, does not mean that teasing cannot form the basis of a claim. When something starts off as a bit of a joke and goes too far it could lead to a claim for constructive dismissal or a harassment claim under the Protection from Harassment Act.

"Insensitive jokes fall within the definition of harassment. Even if the nature of the bullying or teasing does not come within the areas protected by legislation, employers do, in any event, owe a duty of care to stamp out such bullying - or they could face constructive dismissal claims." “Constant teasing may also lead to health problems if the person feels victimised, which could lead to separate claims. "If comments lead to someone becoming ill or stressed, it could then lead to a dis¬ability or personal injury claim."

It is worth remembering the outcome of the case of ex-Deutsche Bank employee Helen Green who won £800,000 in damages and lost earnings after bullying led to a nervous breakdown. "Here the employee accused fellow workers of making mean and spiteful comments, such as saying that she stank. These comments did not fit into a specific discrimination category, but were classed as bullying under the Protection from Harassment Act and led to the big payout."

Duty to protect employees:
Employers should also make it clear in their workplace policies that jokes or teasing of this nature will not be tolerated. "Employers are under a duty to protect employees from such conduct and the policy should make it clear that any breach will result in disciplinary proceedings." Where possible all staff should receive awareness training as part of their induction to drive home the message that bullying, harassment and jokes of a discriminatory nature will not be tolerated. "Employers who fail to take such steps could find themselves on the receiving end of a claim."

[mailsort6]

Sometines banter can get out of hand espeically when it becomes personal which it does at times, I like a bit of banter but only non-personal banter. I have never been bullied and I have never bullied anyone. If someone is being bullied I tell the perpetertor how would they feel if their wife or husband, sister, brother, etc were being bullied in the same way at their place of work or within school, they usually are losted for words and this usually makes them stop and think. People need to think about what they are doing because if someone commits suicide due to constant bullying at work or at school how would the perteterator/s feel if their name/s were left in the suicide note because this is what is happening know a days when people commit suicide due to bullying.

[revilo88]

I think that the line between banter and bullying is merely if its persisted comments.

Theres nothing worse than a workplace where no one has a laugh, ive worked in them and its a depressing place.

Of course everyone puts their foot in it once in a while with the odd offhand comment, and then theres those that think its fine to bring up consistently. The way ive have found to stop this is to confront them the next time they say something(obviously not in a physical sense, just go have a quiet word), just explain that you dont appreciate what they are saying etc. 9/10 times they wont realise the damage they are causing and will probably be very embarassed about it, if they persist then i would definetly speak to your DOM and insist that the person involved is called into a meeting and sort it out between the 3 of you.


I was bullyed a bit at school, whatever you do dont let it persist as it will get worse. Act now!

[andy2007]

Well said Revilo88!

[Locker Dave]

If you came out as Bi at the place I used to work, you would have been the 'butt' of ALL jokes, had graffiti on the toilet walls about you and endured a living hell.

Good luck, I really think you will need it.

[andy2007]

And that's why it's so important for as many people as possible to stand by anyone in that situation. What some people no doubt genuinely think is a bit of harmless banter, about such things. Can easily get out of control. Particularly if there are any Biggots, in your midst. Once they get wind of something like that, the trouble can REALLY start.

But it's a lot easier for someone to come forward, and ask for help. If they know that there are people who will stand by them, and defend them against the onslaught.