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Bristol man caught in sex toy prank thought Royal Mail mistook parcel for bomb

13 Nov 2017, 14:44

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/brist ... toy-767931

A man contacted the Post saying his privacy had been invaded by Royal Mail but it turned out he had been the victim of a prank

A north Bristol couple trying to spice up their sex-lives said they were shocked to find a package they had ordered online had been tampered with.

The couple, who wished to remain anonymous, ordered a sex toy but when they found the parcel on the doormat, it had been opened with a cheeky note written on the front.


The man contacted the Bristol Post saying his privacy had been breached.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” the 28-year-old tradesman said.

“I was talking to my girlfriend and she said she wanted to spice things up. I was shocked to find a letter on the package my partner ordered in the mail.”

The note, written on the address label in blue biro, reads: “Package was vibrating. Investigatory measures were necessary.

“Sincere apologies and enjoy. Love from RM X”

The man said he thought the sex toy had been opened by wary Royal Mail staff fearing the parcel was a bomb.

He said: “She had ordered a sex toy. It had a vibrate function and Royal Mail obviously felt it necessary to investigate, which has caused me incredible embarrassment.

“I don’t know why they chose to investigate – it could have been because she ordered it to ‘Mike Rotch’. Maybe they thought it was a bomb.”

The man says he chose a fake name to preserve his identity and feared he would be the laughing stock of local posties.

“I’m horrified,” said the man. “I think that perhaps it wasn’t opened in secret in the sorting office. Perhaps the whole postal force of Bristol now know where I live and what I do in my spare time.”

The Post contacted the man to verify his claims and he opened the box while speaking to us - only to find the toy did not come with batteries installed.

"It dosen't have batteries in it," he said, puzzled. "It wasn't vibrating and they opened it anyway."

After pondering why the package may have been opened for a few minutes the man called back with more information.

"I questioned my housemates, it turns out it was one of them having a joke." he said.


Bristol man caught in sex toy prank thought Royal Mail mistook parcel for bomb

13 Nov 2017, 15:03

:funneh “I’m not going to beat around the bush,” the 28-year-old tradesman said. :left:

Bristol man caught in sex toy prank thought Royal Mail mistook parcel for bomb

13 Nov 2017, 16:38

Reminds me of an old Bernard Manning gag, the postman "tested" an inflatable doll before delivering it, 2 days later the guy who ordered it phoned the company and said I wanted realism, I got that alright I caught a f'kin dose from it !

Bristol man caught in sex toy prank thought Royal Mail mistook parcel for bomb

15 Nov 2017, 15:13

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" whole new meaning to the old proverb. :wave

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